…what´s at the end of the road, my friend, the stars will guide you…” just got into my mind while flipping through the recently taken images from Australia. The image in the post is taken at the back road of the ATCA site (radio telescopes), outside of Narrabri, NSW. The Milky Way, with its uncountable stars, touches the road, like saying: “Come here, its dark, but we got the light, have no fear, we are with you and you are made of the same stuff like we are, we will guide you, we will show you the way, you might see not the end of the road, but just go further, step by step, and things will unfold.” That might sound a bit weird to some, but that is exactly what my heart and soul is feeling right now – could be to personal for a photography blog, but writing about things help a lot (as well as listening to music…) and maybe some of you have made the same experiences, but don’t know how to deal with it.
So, what´s the story behind? The week after we got home from Australia, my wife and me decided to split up, after eleven years. Now you can imagine what that means to a testosterone driven being, when left by his beloved woman…It took me a couple of days to recover, but now I´m glad it went that way, because without that dramatic cut, nothing would have changed, we would still have our ups and downs, not exactly knowing what went wrong and how to deal with it. After a couple of days, everything became very clear to me and now I know what have caused the turbulence all the time. A big portion of jealousy, compared with a lack of self-confidence, going back deep into my childhood. I know everyone got problems, but it is a great feeling of release to know, and to know what it’s all about, what have caused that problems at all, to know it deep down at the core. And that leads us back to the “road”. After you know what made you get stuck in the first place, it is some sort of “resurrection” while being able to move on. You know that feeling if your drive ran out of battery power and someone gives you a jump-start, how happy you are when the car is running again; or your vehicle ran out of petrol and you got a jerry can from someone and the car is coming to live again slowly…That´s what I´m feeling right now; the car got stuck, but I have learnt (hopefully) to maneuver out of this situation and drive further on, to see what is further down the road, which I probably would have never seen, if not….If the road will lead me that way, great, if it will lead me another way, great too, whatever road I will take, I know for sure, it will be alright. With that knowledge in mind, everything is possible and I may follow every road life shows me. Life is a constant process of learning and development, and with my wife (Sandra), I´ve had a great teacher. We are still very good friends, we still can talk and laugh together about almost everything and I´m going to support her and the kids as good as I can, no matter what. There is a saying, that true love is not excepting, true love is not judging and true love is not demanding – well, I´ve missed them all!
What I have learnt now? First: always look at yourself first before judging others…Second: learn from your children, because they are pure and honest…Third: don´t take everything for granted that you have/got; look after and cultivate the relations you got, you might regret it one day. “Always remember there is no one to change but yourself. You are like a mirror and the world around you is only a reflection of yourself!” (Thanks Neville, that helped a lot…). And speaking in photography terms, like Dewitt Jones did: ” As change comes to us…twisting that focus ring of our lives back and forth, keeping that extraordinary vision sharp and clear, and seize the day.” Enjoy life!